Prolonging Summer

July 31

This summer is flying by seemingly more quickly than our previous summers. It used to feel like the school year flew by and summer was a glorious epic. Why does this summer seem to be slipping out of my grasp so impossibly quickly? I think it’s because our summers before River were pretty unregimented. We were often spontaneous, stopping while driving cross-country to camp in a remote Utah campground, packing up and flying to hike a 100-mile trail in England that, just the week before, I had never heard of. Our days were filled with new people, new food, new sights. You can’t quite be spontaneous with a baby. We’ve learned that babies crave routine, and although that routine can be changeable in small ways, it requires a lot of planning. River’s routine is, of course, our routine. River wakes up every morning around 5am. The foundation of his days look like this:

5am MILK

6am BREAKFAST

7am MILK

8am NAP

Then repeat the above three times, and that just about brings us to Riv’s 6pm bedtime. Don’t get me wrong. I love every part of this routine. I love every part of our day with River. But when we do break from the routine, or rather, shift the routine slightly to a new location, it makes the summer feel like we put its progression on pause for a day.

Yesterday, we took a spontaneous trip to Newport. River’s schedule stayed the same, just in a new, sunny place. It was a beautiful, perfect day. The air was cooler, less humid than it’s been. The air quality was good. We drove to Brayton Point and walked around the fields. We shared a banana under the shade of a large tree while River crawled to his heart’s content and we tried to keep him from eating too much grass. We walked River down to the joyously crashing waves, but only for a minute, because the waves scare him. Even the drive home was fun, Bud and I reminiscing of summers past, sipping decaf Dunkin while River dozed in the back. I love the regimented days at home, River napping in his crib, taking walks down our side street and waving to our neighbors. But moreso, I love these days where we diverge a bit from the routine, and prolong our first summer as parents just a little bit more.

The Marvels of Modern Medicine

July 22

As most of our family and friends know, River was created through ICSI, a more in-depth form of IVF in which an embryo is created and grown in a lab for about five days and then transferred into the womb in a super simple and quick procedure. Then you just wait for a week to see if the embryo continues to grow. River, of course, continued to grow. What is really exciting is that, at the same time River was created, three other embryos were also created. Although any children we have using these embryos will be River’s younger siblings, when they were created, they were all the same age. It’s almost like they are fraternal quadruplets.

Last week, I had an IVF appointment in Providence. It was just a general check in to see how things are looking now that I am eight months postpartum. During my visit to the clinic, the ultrasound-tech commented that I’m back quite soon after having River. I replied that, being that I am thirty-eight, I’m not getting any younger. Even with River, I was repeatedly referred to as a “geriatric pregnancy.” She replied that, as our embryos are frozen at the condition they were in when I was thirty-six, there really is no rush. Technically, the clinic will help women up to the age of fifty-two! She informed me that my age was inconsequential, that even if I were to go through a very early menopause, they could artificially manipulate my hormones to ensure proper conditions for pregnancy. Although we don’t plan to wait until I’m fifty-two to attempt the process again, I find this ability fascinating. Modern medicine is simply amazing.

After my appointment, Bud, River and I enjoyed the beautiful day, walking the streets of Fox Point, enjoying breakfast (River’s first inside a restaurant!), and relaxing in the shade of a nearby park. As we walked, I contemplated the wonder of modern medicine.  Although ICSI is not the way I imagined we would have babies (in fact, I’d never heard of it before it was presented to me) I’m so grateful that these options are available to us. After all, if they weren’t, we would not have River, and although we were happy before River arrived, I now cannot imagine our lives without him in it. Although we don’t know what our future will bring, whether River’s is meant to have siblings or not, I can’t help but feel lucky to be living in an age where my little family is possible. And if we are able to some day give River a brother or sister, we will feel all the more lucky.

July 5

Crawling, dancing, socializing River

This summer is passing by more quickly than any other I can remember, and River is keeping us very busy. He is going through an amazing period of rapid development. He’s crawling, climbing, eating, and making his Mommy and Daddy laugh every day. He loves to crawl quickly away from us for a couple paces, sit back up, look over his shoulder to see if we are “chasing” him, and then let out a joyful squeal when he sees we are. He lets himself be “caught” and then is off again, giving chase. 

He’s getting into everything, and he seems to know what things are off limits, because those are the things he wants the most. When he is not permitted to have these prohibited things, he looks at us flabbergasted, like “Why? Why can’t I climb into your armoire? Why can’t I play with your cup of hot coffee? Why can’t I chew on your running sneakers?” He is no longer nervous around family and friends. We had a nice visit with Uncle Dave, Aunt Mary Mills, and cousin Charlie at Pop Pop and Nana’s house last week, and he was completely at ease, even showing off his cute new squinty-eyed smile. We had a visit at Memere and Pepere’s house where River was so enthralled with Memere and the toy stash she has that he played happily with her, oblivious to the fact that Mom and Dad had left the room. Then, later that week, Pop Pop and Nana came to visit and Mom and Dad took a short walk. River didn’t even seem to notice we were gone as he played on his play mat with Pop Pop, showing him his favorite books.

My favorite new development, and one that I will never tire of seeing, is how he dances with pure joy when Bud plays guitar. He even has favorite songs that bring out the most excitement. He waves his arms up and down with a huge smile on his face, stealing looks up at Bud as he does so. Eventually, he decides he wants to play, too, crawling onto Bud’s lap and grabbing onto the guitar himself. Bud even bought River his own baby guitar, which has three strings and can even be amped up, but it doesn’t quite have the same allure as Daddy’s guitar.