September 2024

We have pretty much stayed close to home this month, soaking in the last warmth of summer and lots of fun family moments. I have spent a lot of time on the couch, feeding Jack. I often talk about this being a difficult time, waking up in the middle of the night to feed a new baby, then doing it again two hours later. But really, I’m learning that I secretly love these quiet moments. My whole family is asleep, safe and peaceful in our little cottage. And Jack and I are the only ones awake, snuggling in the quiet dimly-lit living room.

Of course, a few more hours go by, and morning brings the opposite vibe. If it’s a weekend, I will have slept in with Jack, and Bud will be making pancakes in the kitchen while River and Eleanor run around the kitchen table, fully engaged in whatever make-believe play they have created that morning. Bud will have coffee ready for me, and Jack and I will emerge into the joyful chaos. And then the day goes by in a blink, between diaper changes and meals and naps, it’s like being on one of those playground merry-go-rounds that are probably all banned now. And only after all the kids are asleep, and all the cleaning up and prepping has been completed, do you get to step off of the merry-go-round, feeling slightly dazed, tired, but also very happy.

The second week of October, I pass the Jack baton to Bud. I return to work, and he starts his paternity leave. I am not ready, but then, I have never been ready to leave my little babies to go and care for grumpy eighteen year-olds. At least this time, although Jack will not yet be two months old, I have the comfort of knowing that I am leaving Jack with someone who loves him as much as I do. And in a couple years, these days of sitting up nights with Jack and then reluctantly leaving him in the morning for work will all be bitter-sweet memories to be dreamed about while there are three silly kids happily running around the kitchen table on a Sunday morning.